1. Keep asking questions, go into painful details of each dish
Ask how many pieces of paneer will be there, what will be the size of each cube and so on
2. Point out random dishes and ask him to list out the entire receipe
3. Ask him to provide recommendation letters from previous restaurants before he serves you
4. Check his hands with a microscope, ask him to keep washing it again and again
5. When he is within earshot, narrate the story of how Akshay Kumar went from waiter to superstar
6. Look suspicious when the food comes. Ask him to taste it to prove that it is safe
When he does, refuse to eat a half eaten dish
7. Point out to an imaginary fly and complain about it
8. Before tipping ask him questions like - How much do people generally tip, How much does he expect etc
9. Bore him with fly in the soup jokes
10. Insist that you saw him in Cheeni Kum. Go on and on about it
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