What Will Happen To You Today

Aries: Don’t throw an egg on Ur boss’s face, no matter how much he insists.

Taurus: Wear The Left sock first

Gemini: Whatever you eat chew it 20 times

Cancer: This is not a great day for buying nuclear bombs

Leo: Add salt to taste

Virgo: If u r slapping anyone do it with Ur left hand

Libra: U will be tempted to ride Giraffe….. Wear a seat belt

Scorpio: Do you really want to do that??

Sagittarius: Don’t spend more than 5 bucks today

Capricorn: It is likely you will be scolded today

Aquarius: Don’t watch a film you haven’t seen before

Pisces: You will be interrupted every time you try to sleep. Don’t kill urself with frustration

B’day Forecast: Your party will go over budget

Dealing With Dark Times

With the demand for power growing everyday, and the consequent load shedding, here are some tips to deal with the dark days ahead

Play Forest Gump- Just Sit And Stare

Remember the last scene of the famous movie where Tom Hanks just stares at the empty road?? When there is no power, you could play Tom Hanks. Sit in front of your house staring at the road (not empty, in this case). Watch the vehicles zoom buy and marvel at the advent of technology. If you are lucky enough, you might even witness a fit of road rage, i.e. a lesson in the latest expletives.

Know Thy Neighbors- Don’t Let them Know U

The cover of the darkness is a great time to get to know your neighbors, especially since you are sitting at home killing mosquitoes. This is especially helpful if you are one of those babbling types who don’t make a good first impression. Since its dark, your neighbor may not recognize you the next day, so you are free to criticize the snacks or his place. If you already know your neighbor and don’t like them much (we’re twin souls!), then let loose the child in you- bang his gate and run away (not to be practiced if your neighbor has dog)

Take The Dog For A Walk- Poop-A-Lot Time

If it’s dark inside and Tommy is lying around bored with life in general, get that leash around his neck and take him for a walk. No streetlights means your pup is free to poop anywhere he fancies, like in front of that hateful neighbor’s gate!! He might need a bit of encouragement from you, but he won’t let you down.

Act Studious- Read That Candle

If you are a student, then you could always use the power-less times to show your parents how hard-working you are by studying under candle-light. Not only will it take the parents attention off you when the power comes back, but given the fewer distractions, it means something you read might actually get into your head!!!! Take a bath and slap on some hair oil, just to add the effect.

Play Current-Free Games- Games We All Play

Are you the kind who believes games can only be played on computer or on your cell? Then, sitting around without electricity gives you a chance to be innovative and come up with new games—like the most no of candles lit by a single match-stick. If you are really mean, you could slip on a glow-in-dark mask and run behind street kids scaring them (in some cases, just a torch to your face should do the trick!!) just think outside the box!!

Do A Scooby Doo- Catch That Car!

You could, of course, imitate another movie character i.e. Scooby Doo and run behind the vehicles screaming (barking if you can manage) but this tends to attract a lot of unwanted attention. If someone recognizes you, you are in for an unscheduled trip to Mental Asylum.

The above mentioned technique may help you survive till you are switched on again. But the best method to kill time when there is no power is to…..

Editor’s Note: The author couldn’t complete the sentence as the power just went off in his place.

Quick Bucks at Dad’s Expense

Feeling Proud that your son is joining too many courses or attending career counseling classes all of a sudden? Do you feel your pockets are growing lighter? Well you’ve probably realized you are being conned. We call this scamming. Here’s how some kids con parents:

Dry On Fuel!!

The petrol price hike has not only hit those running offices but also those waiting for a reason to run out of college and use it as an excuse to get some extra bucks. It’s a ‘believable’ excuse and no questions asked!

The scammer would have walked some distance, while parking his bike in shade of the college parking lot entire day!

Trip-Ping On Money

Most colleges believe in going beyond usual chalk-and-talk method to give the students an experience of reality. Hence, pulling out money naively to help bear the expenses of the apparent trip couldn’t be easier! And what’s more? It also allows scamming that extra time to spend with friends.

Scammer With A Heart

Making a contribution to the poor and the needy by using the institution’s repute has never failed to appeal to the finance minister of the house!! Money, probably, would be making a big way into the scammer’s pocket!! Very little will be known about the contributions made.

Birthday Ruse

From wanting to spend that little extra time with your loved one to a reason for celebration, birthdays are a classic example to get permission and fill your pockets!! As long as friends aren’t born too often, it poses to be one hell of great story to scam money for!!

Going The Geeky Way

All of a sudden, textbooks start seeming interesting and the enthusiasm to gain more knowledge soars!! Here is where reference books come into the picture!! Of course, there may be a need for a tangible proof but that can always be handled by the alienated library!!

Charge For Recharge

May be the bundles you can talk on your mobile have not risen but a few bucks have gotten here and that will suffice to hang out with your friends!! As long as the demand does not go through the roof, keep Charging!!

Passing Your Exams

A great man once said hard work is the key to Success!! Someone else said Rome wasn’t built in a single day. But what do you do when you have only a week for your exam to begin and you probably seeing your Books only the Second time (The First time was when you bought it or Got Xeroxed) First of all, stop listening to the great men. Don’t hit the panic button. Here are some tips to avoid the big “F” word

Catch The Catch Words

Once you have started out smoothly (God Save you if you haven’t), remember there are a few important words in every subject that repeat a lot. Take maximum advantage of these words. These are words like comparison, practically, etc that you find difficult to understand but are useful when you mug them up. Use these words wherever possible in the answer, but make sure you don’t overdo it, just use your common sense when it comes to repeatability.

Get The Big Picture

Always remember that a picture is worth a thousand words. Even if you know more about the topic than the guy who wrote the book, if your figure/block diagram is not up to the mark you may end up losing precious marks. So, always concentrate on your diagrams.

Evaluators having to correct hundreds of answer sheets every day, usually tend to be generous if your figures are neat and tidy.

And let me tell you by my own experience it helps a lot even if you don’t know anything about the topic but do have some basic idea about the diagram…. Don’t waste ur time and draw it because no-one reads ur answer if the diagram is correct.

Back To Basics

Kindergarten lessons really last long!! Remember those times when you drew lines after every answer and underlined important words? Presentation is the key to success! With all the decoration that you do, the examiner believes that you are responsible enough to write neatly. The fully-impressed examiner will then gracefully turn pages, generously giving you marks.

Play Your Openers First

Just like they don’t allow Ishant Sharma to open the batting line-up in a final, never start answering your paper with a question you are not comfortable with. Every subject must have at least a couple of topics that you have marginal idea about. Answer questions from these topics first. Evaluators don’t mind if you spoil the order in which you answer the questions as long as the answers make sense. So, play your openers first. Remember, the first impression is the best impression.

Caution!!

If the question have subparts do it together….don’t irritate the evaluator by answering one part in beginning and other part at last page.

Good Hand-Writing/ Bad Hand-Writing

Contrary to popular belief, many students say writing neatly results in the evaluator reading all the answers. So if you don’t have much to write about, write in a relatively shabby hand-writing, but make sure you write a lot, so the evaluator feels that you have written a lot on the topic, but he doesn’t have the patience to read it. If you are however, blessed with a great handwriting, make sure to use it to the maximum (with great power comes great responsibility!!) a good hand-writing is basically sucking up to the evaluator, but hey, anything to pass right?

Play The Novelist

Writing in big letters to make an answer look length may be one trick to get the marks. But this is not the only one!! Use superb vocabulary skills that you have imbibed to write and rewrite the same story (read concepts) again and again in direct and indirect speeches.

You just have to make the examiner believe you don’t have enough words to describe the knowledge you have on the subject!!

Caught by cops? Speak Their tongue!!

Rules, they say are meant to be broken and if you break something you have to pay for it. The same hold good for traffic rules. But what about the hundreds of innocent citizens who break rules unintentionally. In such cases, a little wit and some quick thinking helps.

Here are some tips that come in handy when Police Catches you

Pull Some Strings

If u have some influence, use it but be warned. Depending on the kind of influence you have and kind of cop you are talking to, you could either be let off without a fine and Good Morning, or you could end up paying ten times more!!

Speaking His Tongue

I t always helps to be multi-lingual. If you can recognize the cop’s accent or his mother tongue, then talk in his language. Who doesn’t have native loyalties and finding someone from his native in the middle of night is a grate experience!! You might end up paying for midnight tea instead of the fine.

First Time Excuse

It is very effective method but due to its overuse it has lost some of its sting. It’s important that one keeps an innocent face while employing this method.

Warning: This method doesn’t works effectively if you are wearing torn/ low waist Jeans, a cycle chain around neck etc.

180 Degrees Method

This is risky method and is not recommended. When you know u have forgotten you license and the cop is walking towards u, just turn the bike in a 180 degree spin and Zip away(Not applicable for 4 wheelers). This method requires lot of skill and is fraught with danger. If u are successful, you end up paying nothing and if u get caught, u could face 3-Deg treatment!!

Let Ladies Do The Talking

All guys are sympathetic towards ladies. So, take advantage if there’s a woman in ur vehicle, allow her to do the talking. A little sweet talking could save you Rs 1000 or bring down to fine amount. But no concession if Cops are Woman!!

Bargain, Pay Up

When all else fails, the last resort is to pay up, but not before some bargaining. Cops accept any amount depending upon how many times they have caught since morning. So, bring out your negotiation skills and let the money do the talking.

Caution!!

Not all Cops are Corrupt. If you come across an honest Cop and you don’t have enough money, no problem, Just make a visit to the court!!

Daily Hindu Rituals

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Did U ever came across a Hindu ritual and wondered how weird and vague it is; think again, because almost all Indian traditions have a reason. All Hindus must be proud to be a part of such rich heritage and treasury of Knowledge......Well here I am listing out few of them

Namaste

Hindus greet one another by joining hands at chest level and saying Namaste, with head slightly bowed. The ‘Na’ and ‘Ma’ in namaste (which literally means I bow to u) mean not mine, signifying elimination of our ego and embracement of modesty. The joining of hands communicates the feeling may our minds meet.

Lighting A Diya

Wake up take bath pray and light a Diya….this is the general Hindu morning routine…why do they do this????? Are they ignorant of something called as electric lamp???

Well traditionally an oil lamp has spiritual significance. The flame of Diya is a metaphor for knowledge that removes the darkness of ignorance. The oil in the lamp represents our wrong deeds and the wick is a symbol of our Ego. So lighting a lamp represents burning away your Ego and Wrong Deeds.

Puja Room

According to ancient Hindu theory, the lord resides in all of us and our house is actually his house, because God, who is the supreme creator, can never be a guest he can only be the owner. The ancient Hindu theory says it’s God who owns our house and the inhabitants are mere caretakers of the house and worldly possessions. Now, when God resides in our house shouldn’t we accommodate him? This is the reason why Hindus have a separate Puja room that is clean and well decorated.

Touching Elders’ Feet

Hindus prostrate before elders, parents and teachers by touching their feet, and in return elders place their hand on our head, which signifies blessings given by them. Touching elders’ feet portrays one’s respect for their superiority in age, maturity and experience. This routine, which is done almost everyday and especially during special occasions, symbolizes our humble acknowledgement and appreciation for elder person’s love, sacrifice and guidance.

No Feet Touching

Hindus consider touching someone with our feet as an obscene gesture. Hindu belief say humans are one of the most beautiful and pure living beings. Thus, touching someone with one’s feet, on which we stand and walk everywhere, is considered rude and disrespectful. Books Give us knowledge and therefore represent Saraswati, the Goddess of knowledge. Thus, they are not to be touched by one’s feet.

Offering Food To God Before Self

It is believed that the Lord is complete, and total, while man is incomplete. Whatever exists is because of him. Hence, whatever is the fruit is also his. Offering food first to God changes our behavior towards food, as we learn to be satisfied with what we have, and we don’t demand, complain or criticize. Also, offering food to god makes our attitude positive and makes us believe that the food is now purified. It is said that when anything is eaten happily, the food does more good in body.

Let me tell u by my experience Food taste really better than ever….try doing it sometime.

Fasting

It is a common observation that almost every Indian fasts on certain day of the week. Well, a whole lot of energy goes in cooking, so when we fast we conserve this energy. Secondly, according to ancient Hindu theories, our Digestive System needs that occasional break from food so that it can repair and refresh itself. Thirdly, when we fast, we control our indulgence such an exercise helps us to control our senses and get a better grip of ourselves.

OM

We say ‘OM’ because we consider it as a primordial sound whose vibrations helped create the universe. We blow the conch because it simulates the OM sound.

Lotus

The Lotus grows in muddy and slushy areas and is yet a beautiful flower that gives us the message that we too can remain whole and pure no matter how corrupted our surroundings are. Second, though the lotus plant grows in water, its leaf doesn’t get wet. This tells us we should be unaffected by sadness and happiness around us. Third, the lotus flower opens in morning and closes in night this is a mind metaphor signifying our mind opens with knowledge and clamps up without it.