What To Do At Traffic Signal

Every body stops at traffic signal( at least once in lifetime) so here are few things to do when next time u stop at traffic signal

1) If you see Police man at corner....shout loudly!! "HEY DUDE!!! WAZZUP!!!! Nice
Shirt"
If itz lady police... shout show ur hand... n say Hey Babes!! looking so cool....

2) Switch off engine and do voice by mouth..VROOM!!!!!.......VROOM!!!!!!!!!!

3) Bargain with the boy selling water bags

4) Whistle at the hot model on hoardings

5) When a beggar comes to beg....remove your helmet and beg of him instead

6) Search for the sun and sing....."DHOOP NIKALTI HAI JAHAN SE"

7) Break traffic signal...and if police catches u say u r color blind

8) Try calling the cow or any stray animals and divert to the vehicle behind

9) Ask Traffic police to pose for a photo

10) Give the Traffic police tips on how to control traffic

11) Start giving dostana/Gay look to Police...

12) Apolice men his weight and salary and west size

13) Ask ur neighbour to exchange his car wit ur bike!!!!!!!

14) Ask for d change of 1000rs note to 10 th person to u !!!!!!!

What If U R Cought Giving Proxy Attendence

1) Sir/Mam I am just practicing for my attendance.

2) Tell him that you are his Representative

3) Sir, After giving attendance he ran away....u hvn't seen

4) Sir, i was just checking wthr u can catch me r not...u r James Bond Sir

5) Start like mein kaha hoon...........say u r getting chakkar n fall down..

6) Sir, I forgot my roll number...what is it?

7) Bang D bench and go out of class (never ever think of returning back to his class
again)

8) It was assignment given to you by Principal n Founder authority to check
ALERTNESS of Professor...n Congratulate him for doing job..

9) Bribe him and say meri aur mere dosto ki attendence har lecture mai lagana..

10) If he doesnt accept ur bribe yell loudly and say ki ye mujhse Rishwat maang raha
hai..and say dat u will complaint dis matter to the Principle..

11) Sir..aapki umar ho gayi hain.....kisne kuch nahi bola..aur aapko aawajen sunayi
de rahi hain...

12) GO WILD LIKE NANA PATEKAR!!!!!!!!

HEY!!!! YEH USKA ROLE NUMBER ..YEH MERA NUMBER....BOL KAUN YAHA HAIN..AUR KAUN
BAHAR..KAUN HINDU OR KAUN MUSLIM!!!

TU TOH BACCHO MEIN FOOT PAD RAHA HAIN!!! HAR EK KO ALAG NUMBER DE KE!!!!!!

Hold your Head n act like Nana Patekar again.....

13) Give him THE FEROCIOUS GHAJINI LOOK

14) Tell him in a broken english

"I LEARNING 2 SAY PREGENT"

15) Sir, he came yesterday and forgot to give his presenty so just clearing his
pending attendance

16) Pretend 2 write some important points he wil be impressed!!!!!!!!!!!!

17) Give him 'Jaadu ki Jhappi'...

18) Offer him that u wil introduce a new hawt GIRL..........

19) Blame it on recession.Tell him ur grup has decided that one person will attend a
day to save transport cost.

20) "main bhatak gaya tha.....ab meri ankhen khul gayi hai...mujhe maaf kar dijiye
plesssss"

What to do in a Public Restroom

1) Start shouting : I did it .. Yes! I did it! I am the best!

2) When u see someone rushing in, go occupy the loo and dont come out until d person
losses it in his/her pants

3) Put itching powder on the toilet seats..

4) Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that."

5) Ask for some Change!

6) Take out the "men at work" board from an under construction site and place it
outside the restroom.

7) While shitting, make a corporate call and say " i'm in a meeting.. i tried hard
to push it, but finally dropped the matter"

8) Tell them this is the first time you have been in a toilet in your life !

9) Suddenly start running here and there shouting bomb. bomb.. but this can also
land u in jail

10) Wet your pants wid water and walk proudly in and out

11)Say "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!dat felt gooooooooooooood!!"

What To Do The Night Before Exams

1) Get the time-table......

2) Drink beer .. I have heard it improves concentration!

3) Watch the best porno film available with you.. A little relaxation never hurt anyone!

4) Make chits..!

5) Go 2 da toilet a thousand tyms(moms gonna think u have loose motion so no test da nxt day

6) Motivate ur friend to study more

7) Call ur teacher at 2:00 am and ask them to teach u

8) Keep listening the song "everythings gonna be alright".....

9) Talk 2 ur gf... it'l help if the xm is of a language paper

10) Call your ex n say how much u miss them...padhai to hone nahi wali..time pass to ho jayega !!!

11) Call up as many ppl as possible n say tht the time table has changd...maza ayega

12) Find ur books and remove dust from them and place them back in the cupboard

What If Santa Was A Girl

We all have a pleasant and a decent image of our very own Santa Claus! He is Big, with a little grown tummy,wild white beard and a sweet smile rolling with the tone HO-O-HO ;)

Now, its time Rotate the clock this X'mas ;)

Imagine SANTA as SANTANA or SANTANIA OR SANTANEE or anything; a wicked Sexy girl short skirts, charming smile and that X'mas Hat on top....... wohoooooo Fascinated na! ;)

So here are few things that would have happened

1) The gifts would never reach the kids on time...

2) All gifts wud be wrapped in pink paper

3) Most of the x-mas gifts wud be cosmetics and jewelery

4) The North Pole would have a giant thermostat...

5) The reindeers would have to smell just right to get her to do anything!..

6) All the reindeer will have matching accessories with their noses

7) Instead of reindeer, there would be 6 cats

7) Santa will emotionally blackmail all the airport authorities to let her have the nighr sky 2 herself to fly around in her sleigh!!

8) Santa wil certainly not eat the x-mas cookies and cakes...they are soooo fatty

9) She certainly would NOT COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY!

10) Santa would always be late.. girls take too much time to dress up.. xmas would be on 26th dec..

11) She wud recieve love letters instead of wishlishts:P

12) Men would wait for her more than the childrens

13) Boys ll be more eager for x mas n dey ll decorate their house like never b4 so she can come

14) Santa will hav 2 face eve teasing

15) The elves will work more efficiently

How To Finish Your Exam Paper In Time

1) Drink a lot of water before entering exam hall....This will prompt you to go to the loo and you will complete your paper fast

2) Give time to your GF 10 mins before the paper ends

3) Start writing from the last question.This way you can atleast say "I have finished my last question"

4) Btw finishing exam paper also means reading the exam paper completely

5) Keep your mobile in vibrating mode and hide it in your underwear.....Ask your friend to call you.This will surely help you in finishing paper in time^_^

6) Steal others supplementary and attach it to yours. Certainly will save time

7) Ask your supervisors to remove all the hot chicks from the examination hall....May not work if your supervisor falls into the same category.

8) Become a drug addict and make it a habit 2 take ur drug every 2 and half hrs

9) Go 2 da xam hall early and persuade/seduce yur invigilator 2 let u start da xam lilttle early (lyk 3 days earl

10) Act busy through out the xam and 5 min b4 da xam ends start shouting OMG who stole all my suppliments,may be the invigilator will help and give u extra time

11) Give ur answer sheet 2 da bst boi in class aur bol "abe chikne zyaada shine mat mar sidda likh dall nai toh bol idharich tapkane ka ya fir toilet chale'

12) Dont stare any cute chick in d room.... just gonna waste hell lot of time

13) After u check ur question paper...... shout loud

"DAMN... i knew i dont know anything"

examiner wont b bothered to collect ur answerbook after exam is over... it wil give u extra minutes

14) Submit the question paper instead of the answer script

15) Get d ppr leaked, xam cancelled or atleast u know all answers

16) Laugh like a mad guy...teacher will make u sit in a corner n wont give much attention to u

Cool T-Shirt Quotes

DO u beleive in love at first sight or
should i drive past u again?

Don't be so open-minded your brains fall out.

This was written on the back of a biker's T:
IF YOU CAN READ THIS, THE BITCH FELL OFF!

God is real, unless U declare him an integer

"I am always right, Never wrong.
I thought i was wrong once, but I was wrong!!"

Hi! I'm a human being! What are you?

marry had a little lamb...it was delicious

Surprise me!...say something smart

To all you virgins... thanks for nothing.

umm..now look at that..
sorry! no, i wasnt talking about ur face.

why r u looking at me ..huh ?
...i am not ur Dad

Smile is the second best thing which You can do with Ur lIps

God made MUD, God made Dirt
God made Galz, So guyz can FLirt

Most ppl are only alive bcuz its illegal to shoot them.. and u r one of those lucky assholes.

virginity is not dignity
it is lack of OPPURTUNITY

Watz that uglyy thinggg on ur shoulderzz???
ohh ! sori, itz ur face ;)

I'm a lesbian trapped in this man's body

WHY LOOKING AT ME COME HUG ME

I hate jokes but still I love You

who says nothing is impossible? i;ve been doin nothing for years..

If I told u tht u had a nice body, will u hold it against me!!

Taj Mahal
The greatest erection by man for his love.

"I am 6, wanna be 9?"

In case of fire use the hose below

Ask ur boobs to stop staring at my eyes!!

Love ur neighbour..just don't get caught

You loved me and changed the history of my life.
Let me love you and change the geograpgy of your life.

Marriages defeat Mathematics..How else can u explain 1+1=3..???

Come behind the pyramid & I will make u a mummy

Dont drink water.... fishes fuck in it

Early to bed & early to rise
makes a man healthy, wealthy & wise
& makes his wife sleep with other guys

If ur father is poor---ur fate but if ur father in law is poor then it's ur foolishness

Create desktop icon for restart and shutdown

Do the following:


1. Right click on your desktop


2. Then in NEW click on SHORTCUT


3. A shortcut wizard will appear


4. Type this in the box:


shutdown -s -t 00


5. Your done now right click on the folder>properties>Change Icon


And then choose any appropriate icon


For restart instead of -s type –r

Break password in xp

In case of user password boot the pc in safemode by pressing the F8 key and then selecting the Safe Mode option. You can now logon as an administrator and XP wont prompt for the password. Incase of an administrator account try rebooting the pc in DOS. access C:\Windows\system32\config\sam . Rename SAM as SAM.mj

Now XP wont ask for password next time You Login. Also

Go to the cmd prompt .
Type net user *.
It will list all the users.
Again type net user "administrator" or the name of the administrator "name" *.
e.g.: net user aaaaaa *(where aaaaaa is the name).
It will ask for the password.
Type the password and there you are done.
Logging In As Administrator:
Hold the Ctrl-Alt key and press Del twice. This will bring up the normal login and you can log on as Administrator.

Get Free Genuine Windows XP Key From CD itself

Just follow following steps to get ur free windows key

Being computer science engineer once i was wondering how does windows check it wether our key is orignal or not there should be some source to do that

and viola i found the answer just do these things

1) Open the drive where u hav installed windows

2) Open windows folder

3) Look for I386 folder

4) Look for a file called UNATTEND.TXT

5) Open the file and scroll down to the last line and here u have a product code

or if u want the key Before Instalation

Just explore the CD then open the folder I386 then open the file UNATTEND.TXT and scroll down to the last line, here You have a product code.

Have fun!!!
Now you'll never need to search for a product code for XP again...!!!!